February 2012
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Scattered thoughts
My only motivation to go to school is so I can go out after. How sad. -_-
I hate medication, I hate medication, I hate medication.
I didn’t think it was possible for my want to drive, and I mean just cruise, to increase. Then I woke up this morning… ):
The only thing getting me through today is just being able to relax after school at my boyfriend’s house, then go out...
So Beautiful by Musiq Soulchild <3
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(more) Scattered thoughts
I don’t remember the last time I was this self-conscious about my appearance. ): (Attempting to) eat healthy and running is the way to go!
Crossed off a couple things off my pick-up list.. very satisfactory. :)
Still, in dire need of $$$ and quick. Hate being off for medical reasons. ):
Considering quitting AMC for a different place, but I’d have to wait ‘til I’m off...
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Scattered thoughts
Knocked out pretty early last night (sorry Raniel D:), woke up at 3 and went back to sleep thinking I’d wake up feeling great and well-rested, but woke up with a huge headache, feeling like shit. ):
My productivity levels are slowly decreasing as the year progresses… I just want to graduate already. -_-
My motivation to get through this week? One month on Saturday followed by baby...
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LOL, it's true though.
Raniel: My eyes won't open>.<
Me: They never do.
Raniel: -________-
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“It’s just that I don’t want to be somebody’s crush. If...”
– The Perks of Being a Wallflower
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heyyitsraniel asked: At least you're able to take that headband from Urban Outfitters off your list(:
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I can’t get over how much crap is on my pick-up list, especially how many books.
It’s really saddening. ):
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Let's talk.
The more time we spend conversing, the more I become aware of not only my feelings towards you, but the reasons why I’m attracted to you in every which way. Whether we’re texting, talking over the phone, webcamming with each other, or merely with each other face-to-face, there’s nothing more reassuring than your soft, yet luring voice juxtaposed with your gentle, yet protective touch. Forget the...
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Scattered thoughts
Can’t get over how amazing Winter Formal was <3 I was looking forward to Sadie’s ‘til I realized how much I really don’t wanna go… so instead I’m taking @heyyitsraniel out on a date completely planned (and paid for) by me! Kekeke, excited :)
My mom picked up new medicine for me at the pharmacy today… -_-
Hawaii in five weeks and a choir show the...
Anonymous asked: You are beautiful(:
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Hands down an AMAZING night.
Thank you @heyyitsraniel. You da best <3
Details and pictures tomorrow, but for now… ktfo. :P
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I’m starting to grow tired of what appears to be a misleading path, feeling stranded far away from anything possible. I have this lust for adventure that only seems to grow stronger as the days pass due to the limitations of school, of a job, of merely the law. I’m running on a life line too short, and I cringe at the idea of growing up simply because that only means more school, more work, and...
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Scattered thoughts
Woke up with a bad feeling in my gut. I hate feeling uneasy. Trust issues and insecurities at its finest. Looks like another front today.
My mom told me I had a dentist appointment instead of a doctor’s appointment so I wouldn’t make an excuse up not to go. More medication, more blood taken, more x-rays… I sincerely hate this.
Cypress Winter Formal this Saturday, one month...
January 2012
2 tags
You make me want to believe in my own self-value and self-worth, in that there’s something amazing and possibly even beautiful compared to what I see in myself. That’s all I could ever ask for from anyone. And though I hope and pray that I’m capable of reciprocating that feeling, my words mean nothing unless I act upon it. And that’s what I intend to do.
I’m already content with how I am, how I...
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Scattered thoughts
Last semester of my high school career… that shit is cray.
New diet plan with my mommy includes nothing but organic food in the kitchen. Yay for losing weight with my mom before Hawaii, LOL. I love my mom <3
Running has been a great way to get away from the world. New daily grind.
I hate these medications… I’m not even close to being done with them. I hate always having...
Anonymous asked: ten turn ons and offs?
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laayuhmelani asked: PSSHAAH. Not even! You and Raniel are pretty adorable! (:
Anonymous asked: do you ever miss juan?
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Anonymous asked: your new bf seems better than juan ahaha just sayin
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Anonymous asked: how long have you and raniel been going out? seems like he makes you happy lol
davidope asked: OMGAAAAH, you can drive stick. Cool. hah
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How is it that, simulataneously, me and @w0rdtoyourmother post similar posts then minutes later, reblog each other’s posts?
We’re bros not ‘cause we think alike, but ‘cause we do the same shit at the same time and even go through the same shit. Been that way since day one.
Damn. This is still creepy. -_-
w0rdtoyourmother:
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I don’t give a fuck.
Mixed emotions, but I’m fine.
I won’t quit frontin’ ‘cause I don’t like feeling needy.
Yeah, I know, I’m a little girl.
Not in the mood for anything right now.
I hate wanting to cry. I’m not going to cry.
I don’t want to give a fuck.
“I want to be held, not helped.”
So my friends and even my boyfriend are barely...
Am I the only one that thinks it’s normal or..?
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To this day, and every day that may follow, I live...
Watching an older brother mess around with his little sister, hearing an older brother worry about his little brother, all those cute older brother moments, stuff like that makes me miss you so much more.
It’s been five years and five months. I don’t know why part of me still thinks that you’re around. But everything happens for a reason.
I pray that everyday, you look down at...
ran 2.5-3 miles
downed one bottle of water
two pieces of wheat toast with jam
glass of orange juice
downed another bottle of water
New daily morning (or at least every other morning) routine until I lose weight, lol. But I do feel good. :)
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“So you could tell me how hard you had it,
And you could show me all the scars...”
– Yesterday by Atmosphere
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heyyitsraniel:
Cupid - 112
Girl when I ask you...
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I must only give myself time to learn how to trust again. That’s all I really need to do. I need to learn how to be patient with myself, learn that perfection is only an illusion and the pursuit for happiness isn’t as complicated as it appears to be but in fact lies in the simplest forms. If I allow myself to take a step back and breathe, I could catch my breath and continue on. Whoever said,...
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My thoughts are capable of driving me completely insane… Little things, little things, little things.
It’s one of those days where I wanna be alone, but I wanna be out of the house.
Trying to let go and let God, but so far it’s not working out.
Slowly turning back into an insomniac. Yay for sleeping at 3 or 4 in the morning this past week!
I really hope I’m just...
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Hang on, help is on the way. Stay strong,...
I really hope I’m just pmsing. But part of me knows I’m not. I should be used to this kinda shit, it happens all the time.
Suddenly, I just don’t wanna be out and about today. Raniel’s house then Senior Broomball later tonight, but I’d honestly rather just stay at home.
I can’t find it in myself to believe anything anymore. I feel so out of touch.
I just want...
Maybe I’m just pmsing.
Maybe I’m just acting off of stress. Maybe I’m just overreacting. Maybe I am at fault. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Never any security.
Just because I want to believe you doesn’t mean that I can. It’s hard.
I’m so damn caught up with those little things. I feel like I’m just acting dumb.
I feel like a complete mess. But I’m trying...
Day 1 of finals ):
Choir final today, aka I have to sing in front of my class by myself. I can’t sing ); But, still singing Never Say Goodbye by Jojo, in Passion’s key. <3
I just wanna get these two days over with. Chill but nerve-wrecking day today, stressful tomorrow.. I hate school.
In dire need of $$$. With Winter Formal and Sadie’s coming up, I definitely need some. I just wanna be...
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On a more personal note...
I’d like to believe in this thing called fate, in the existence of a reason why we’re together, and whether He plans on us to go long-term or not, I’m done with hiding from my true feelings and I’m going to take a stand and embrace them and rather than living in fear, I’ll lift this up to Him and allow Him to guide us. Yes, I’m scared, but this is a risk worth taking. I’d like to...